So I was chatting with a woman this weekend, and, being a Rules dating coach, couldn’t help but ask how she and her boyfriend got together.
Long story short, it was NOT a Rules beginning, nor is it a Rules relationship.
Now, you can have a semi-decent relationship without The Rules, but I was SO disheartened to hear the way he is treating her: neglecting her, taking her for granted, rolling in money but making her spilt everything, threatening to take HER dog if she breaks up with him, accusing her of being a “slut” because he “accidentally opened” her journal and read about a romantic relationship that came before him. SO heartbreaking.
One of my friends recently confided in me that when her boyfriend is nice, he’s NICE. But when he’s not, LOOK OUT! He’s mean, makes underhanded comments, calls her names, accuses (with no proof, just paranoia) her of trash-talking him to her friends (Um… We ARE allowed to confide in our friends!!), and holds her to complete double standards: he can flirt with other women IN FRONT OF HER all he wants, but she’s not even allowed to hang out with her male friends of 20 years.
These women are smart, highly educated, beautiful, and absolute dolls. They DO NOT deserve this disrespect, and NEITHER DO YOU. Rules aside for a moment: Okay, maybe you don’t always do them… but what kind of relationship are you REALLY in? Is he abusive and neglectful? Did it start out great and slowly deteriorate? Is he a sweetie at one moment (usually when you threaten to leave) and mean and hateful another? Does he make you question reality?
With perfect timing, this article crossed my path and I thought it would be great to share with you, if you, like so many women I have met, are struggling. http://iheartintelligence.com/2016/08/08/questions-partner-controlling/
All the love!