So, ladies… What is your job on Valentine’s Day? To be aware and observe!
Has he asked you to be his Valentine and pinned you down for a date yet?
Has he made reservations or plans for the date?
Has he been dropping or picking up hints about a gift?
Has he asked/figured out your favorite flower or your preference toward silver/gold/white gold, or white/milk/dark chocolate, etc.?
Does he use the “L” word?
Have you only been together for a few weeks? …And you’re not sure how he feels quite yet?
Is he acting disgruntled about this “fake holiday that was only invented to sell cards and chocolate”?
Is he bitter and resentful that there’s a holiday where he’s “expected to compete with other men to show how much I love my woman… because I love you every day and why should I be forced to prove it today?”?
Is he cranky that “everything will be crowded and overpriced.” Then asks you if you’re “sure you REALLY want to do something on such a silly ‘holiday’?”
(Are you reliving a crappy past relationship after having read the above quotes? Me too. I won’t name names, but they’re actual quotes. Take some deep breaths and let that go, because it will only poison a new relationship. Let the new guy have his clean slate!)
Now is the time you get to see how he really feels about you; so keep your eyes and ears open and your mouth shut. A man in love acts much differently than a man that is not. So pay attention! We will reconvene when Vday is over to assess the situation.
A little prep on your part:
So… What if he “forgets” or never mentions Valentine’s Day?
If he doesn’t mention it, you don’t either! As far as you are concerned, you have other plans (that he can wonder but will never know about). Don’t sit home sad. Get dressed up, go out, and find a new man! Or do what my bestie and I used to do on Vday when we were single at the same time: dress up in adorably festive outfits and hit a restaurant that’s not exactly a date spot for a newer couple… For us it was the spiciest Szechuan we could find. Tearing and snotting (so very ladylike, I know) over our bowls of dumplings in chili oil and spicy beef noodle soup was so much fun we didn’t give a second thought to Vday (except that we bought each other chocolate and/or flowers)! Also in the category of “non-date food,” anything awkward, super spicy, and/or messy to eat: chicken wings, BBQ ribs, tacos, burgers, ramen, crab legs…
What about a gift for him?
No mushy cards, chocolate, jewelry, poetry, champagne, etc.! Reread the part in The Rules about what kind of gifts are appropriate to give him (or my previous post about gifting– but choose a smaller gift than you would get him for Christmas or his birthday. No need to break the bank.). Hint: If you’ve only been on a few dates, the answer is “nothing.”
P.S. Dress nicely, keep your manners about you, and don’t forget to say thank you (sans gushing).
P.P.S. Don’t rope yourself into planning and cooking the romantic dinner for Valentine’s Day! It’s a TRAP! You’ll get stuck with the trip to the store, the expense of the food, the planning and cooking of the menu, the burden of entertaining- driving yourself nuts cleaning your place, possible dish duty, cleaning linens, and you’re the one setting the romantic tone! How wooed can you feel if it’s all your responsibility? Leave the romance up to him- until it’s his birthday, or you’re married (and even then, do you want to do the cooking and romancing on your anniversary??)
Love and luck!